Common reasons for seeking couples therapy Comments Off on Common reasons for seeking couples therapy

What are the most common reasons that couples come to see me for therapy?

Couples come to me for therapy for a wide variety of reasons, but it’s common for them to experience not just one single issue, but rather a range of persistent patterns that create emotional distance, conflict, or pain.

Here are some of the most common issues that prompt my clients to seek couples therapy:

• Communication Problems – including constant misunderstandings or arguments; situations in which one partner shuts down and the other feels unheard; talking turns into blaming or stonewalling; or they feel like they’re “speaking different languages”.
• Loss of Emotional or Physical Intimacy – in which they feel like roommates instead of partners; they’re experiencing reduced affection, sex, or emotional closeness; or one or both feel lonely in the relationship.
• Conflict and Frequent Fighting – recurring bickering and arguments (often about the same topics); increasing levels of tension, resentment, or hostility; and difficulty resolving disagreements or letting go.
• Infidelity or Betrayal – Emotional or physical affairs; loss of trust (with various causes, including money, gambling, addiction and so on); and struggling with forgiveness or deciding whether to stay.
• Drifting Apart – feeling disconnected or “on different pages”; life transitions (kids, aging parents, careers) pulling them in separate directions; or a sense that the relationship has lost its meaning or purpose.
• Parenting and Family Conflicts – disagreements about parenting style or discipline; struggles related to blended families (step-parenting, co-parenting); one partner feeling unsupported or undermined by the other.
• Stress from Outside Pressures – such as financial strain; career demands; or illness, caregiving responsibilities, or extended family drama
• Individual Mental Health or Trauma Impacting the Relationship – one partner’s anxiety, depression, substance use, or trauma history is affecting the couple dynamic, and often the relationship becomes focused around managing the crisis.
• Pre-Marital or Relationship Check-Ins – some couples come in proactively before getting married, having a baby, or making a big decision; they want to strengthen their “foundations” or spot “red flags” early.
• Deciding Whether to Stay Together – sometimes therapy becomes a place for couples to explore whether to continue their relationship.

Sadly, I have found that quite a lot of couples wait until things feel critical; in some cases, far too late to save the relationship! Couples therapy can be most effective at an earlier stage when both partners are still motivated and emotionally invested in their relationship.