What Is It Like to Work With Me as a Therapist? Comments Off on What Is It Like to Work With Me as a Therapist?

If you have never had therapy before, reaching out to a therapist can feel daunting.

You may wonder:

• What will happen in the first session?
• Will I feel judged?
• Will I know what to talk about?
• What if I become emotional?
• How do I know whether the therapist is the right fit?

These are all very common concerns.

Most people feel at least a little uncertain before their first appointment.

Therapy Is a Conversation, Not an Interrogation

One of the biggest misconceptions about therapy is that you will be expected to arrive with everything figured out.

In reality, many people come to therapy because they are struggling to make sense of what is happening.

You do not need to have a perfectly clear explanation of your problem.

Part of my role is helping you explore what is happening, understand the patterns involved, and develop a clearer understanding of how things may have reached this point.

What I Pay Attention To

Whether I am working with an individual, a couple, or a family, I am usually interested in patterns.

For example:

• What keeps anxiety going?
• Why does the same argument keep happening?
• What happens immediately before someone becomes overwhelmed or angry?
• What interactions strengthen connection?
• What interactions increase distance?

Many emotional and relationship difficulties involve repeating cycles that become self-reinforcing over time.

Understanding these patterns is often one of the first steps toward changing them.

Therapy Should Feel Practical

While understanding is important, insight alone is not always enough.

I believe therapy should help people make meaningful changes in their lives.

My approach is practical and collaborative.

Together we explore:

• what is happening
• why it is happening
• what keeps it going
• what might help change it

The goal is not simply to talk about problems indefinitely, but to help you develop new ways of responding to them.

My Approach to Couples Therapy

When working with couples, I draw upon approaches influenced by the work of John Gottman and other evidence-based relationship therapies.

Rather than deciding who is right or wrong, I focus on understanding:

• communication patterns
• emotional triggers
• recurring conflict cycles
• the ways partners unintentionally become stuck

Many couples arrive believing the problem is a particular disagreement.

Often, the deeper issue is the pattern that develops around that disagreement.

Once couples begin understanding the cycle itself, meaningful change often becomes possible.

My Approach to Individual Therapy

When working with individuals, I frequently help clients address:

• anxiety
• depression
• emotional overwhelm
• anger
• guilt and shame
• relationship difficulties
• major life transitions

I integrate approaches including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness-based approaches, and skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

DBT can be particularly helpful for developing:

• emotion regulation skills
• distress tolerance
• interpersonal effectiveness
• greater emotional awareness

These skills help people respond more effectively when life becomes difficult rather than feeling controlled by emotions or circumstances.

What Clients Often Tell Me

Many clients tell me they appreciate that therapy feels:

• practical rather than abstract
• collaborative rather than directive
• thoughtful rather than judgmental

My aim is to provide a space where people feel understood while also being challenged to think differently and try new approaches when appropriate.

The First Session

The first session is largely about getting to know one another.

We will typically discuss:

• what has brought you to therapy
• what concerns you most
• what you would like to change
• any questions you have about the process

You do not need to prepare extensively.

You do not need to tell your entire life story.

We simply begin where you are.

Is Therapy Right for You?

Therapy is not about being “broken.”

Many people seek therapy because:

• they feel stuck
• they want healthier relationships
• they want to manage emotions more effectively
• they want greater clarity about their lives

Often, the decision to begin therapy is less about crisis and more about wanting things to be different.

Individual and Couples Therapy in Scottsdale

I provide therapy in Scottsdale for:

Individuals

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Emotional regulation
• Anger
• Life transitions
• Relationship difficulties

Couples

• Communication problems
• Repeated conflict
• Emotional disconnection
• Trust concerns
• Relationship patterns

My approach integrates:

• Gottman-informed relationship work
• DBT skills for emotional regulation
• CBT and mindfulness-based approaches
• Systems-focused understanding of patterns and cycles

If you are considering therapy and would like to explore whether we might be a good fit, I would be happy to speak with you.

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Learn More About Couples Therapy
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